Where’s Phelix?

by Staff on January 18, 2007 · 7 comments

in Local

Welcome to the first episode of a little game I’d like to call “Where’s Phelix?”

In Wednesday’s Bedford Times-Mail, there was an article entitled “Orleans police car rammed“. The article states, in part:

Officers from the Mitchell and Orleans police departments attempted to serve an arrest warrant on Phillip Haverly, 48, Franklin, while he was in the parking lot of the Fifth Third Bank in Orleans at 1:15 p.m. Tuesday, according to an Indiana State Police news release. The warrant was for possession of a controlled substance.

Haverly resisted police and police officers attempted to block his path. To escape, Haverly rammed Orleans Police Chief Roy W. McFarland’s squad car.

McFarland’s same car was rammed by another suspect, Kevin Cook, exactly two months ago, on Nov. 16. The damage from that crash had already been repaired by Tuesday, according to Orleans Police Officer Jordan Cain Gilstrap. After Haverly escaped, he went eastbound on Ind. 337, and Indiana State Police Trooper Dave Henderson found him about three miles east of Orleans. Haverly’s black Chevrolet car became disabled, and Haverly fled on foot. He was found hiding behind a tree in an adjacent field.

Notice anything about the Mitchell Police Department in there? It says that “…officers from the Mitchell and Orleans police departments…”, yet there’s never any mention of what role the MPD had. Well, let me tell you why…

Apparently, the Mitchell Police Department — in other words, “Flex” — was there to assist. Unfortunately for him, Flex apparently got his highways mixed up after the guy hit the Orleans police car and took off. While Indiana State Police Trooper Dave Henderson pursued the guy down Highway 337, Flex went flying down Highway 37 — the complete opposite direction — in a mad search for the guy. Fortunately for Flex — but unfortunate for Haverly — the ISP trooper decided it would probably be a good idea to chase Haverly by driving in the same direction that he was — unlike Phelix — and caught up to him.

Of course, none of that was mentioned in the press release, right? Oh wait, I forgot — Flex writes his own press releases, so of course that’s not in there. I mean, why would he intentionally show the world how much of a fuck up he is, especially when I’m here to help out!?

In addition, there are a number of thoughts that come to mind about why the hell the Mitchell Police Department were even attempting to serve a warrant in Orange County anyways. I’ll grant you that Orleans is very small and used to only have one cop on duty at a time (no idea if that’s changed within the last few years). Even given that, however, they have a whole Sheriff’s Department to assist in matters like this.

Mitchell citizens, there’s your tax dollars hard at work once again. Stay tuned for the next episode of “Where’s Phelix?”. It’ll be aired just as soon as he makes another stupid mistake. When — not if.

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