Four Rocket Scientists Rob Mitchell Gas Station

by Staff on August 11, 2011 · 3 comments

in Local

IdiotsAt 2:50 a.m. Tuesday morning, the Lawrence County Police Department received a 911 call reporting that the Clark gas station at the intersection of Main Street and Highway 37 in Mitchell had been robbed.

The four geniuses made off with some cash and smokes after “they manhandled the clerk,” according to Mitchell Police Chief Jerry Presnell.

Thanks to either some awesome police work or the apparent ignorance of the robbers — we’re not sure which — two men were booked into the Lawrence County Security Center not long after daylight.

As the Mitchell po-po were checking out a video of the robbery, a Lawrence County Police Officer with apparently great eyesight spotted a pickup truck carrying four people. He turned around and the pickup picked up some speed.

The officer stopped the vehicle, maybe after coming up with a good reason to do so. In it, they found some smokes and a weapon they think might’ve been used in the hold-up. The four rocket scientists tried the ol’ “it wadn’t me” trick, instead blaming the robbery on four others they’d been partying with, but the officers were smarter than that.

After coaxing information out of some others, they discovered that two of the people in the truck were involved in the robbery. The coppers also recovered some clothing that they believe the stick-up men were wearing when the shit went down.

Matt Green, 22, Bedford, and Tommy Jones, 19, Mitchell, were cuffed and stuffed and booked into the pokey at 8:50 a.m. Tuesday morning, just six hours after police received the 911 call. They were both charged with one count each of armed robbery.

Later on Tuesday, Mitchell police found another one of the robbers — a juvenile — and got his ass too. Police got the other juvenile suspect Tuesday evening after he turned himself in, probably because he feared the wrath of Mike Hardman.

Both of them boys are now hanging out at the juvenile detention facility over in Jackson County. The Chief wouldn’t give out their names since they’re juveniles, but he did say they were 16- and 17-year-old boys.

Rumor has it that ma and pa didn’t whoop their asses enough when they were just little fellers.

UPDATE: According to my well-placed, anonymous sources, the two juveniles were Zane Payton and Josh Turner.

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